Opus 2023-030: Litmus Tests: Intro/Extro

I am starting to learn to evaluate people by whether they are introverts or extroverts.  There are so many times we hear “there are two types of people in the world”.  For this post the two types will be introverts and extroverts.  As is usual the case, don’t make two much of the division or expect it to answer questions about everything.  Like most divisions the two types are not always pure.  Often the two types are mixed in unusual ways.

References to these personality types confused me for a long time because I could function in either depending on the situation.  I can sit silent and listen for long periods of time and dread the need to open my mouth.  I can also stand up in front of a crowd and preach without any fear at all.  Part of my confusions was trying to define the conditions in a way that didn’t work.

I finally heard someone define them in a way that made sense.  Introverts lose energy by being with other people.  Extroverts gain energy.  That may not resonate with you but it works for me.  I tended to think of myself as shy or antisocial.  In a crowd I would avoid making eye contact.  I would ignore invitations to parties.  In reality I just didn’t want to invest the energy to be with other people.

This motivated me to develop what I think of as my intro/extro switch.  I mentally switch modes depending on the situation.  After a period of time it defaults to intro.  When I was teaching I would be intro all the way to the parking lot.  When I got out of the car I would flip the switch and become me outgoing.  At the end of the day I didn’t need to switch back.  It happened automatically on the way to the car.

Many people that we think are hostile are really just introverts.  This has been a big breakthrough for me.  Have you ever been sitting in a group and the person next to you seems to want to be somewhere else?  That is because he wants to be somewhere else.  It isn’t you.  It is just the way he is.  If you push a little he may open up and you can have a pleasant conversation.  Try it.

This train of thought is helping me to understand myself better and I hope will help me to relate better to those around me.

homo unius libri