Opus 2023-152: New Term: Gastrogressions

How about a restaurant built on the premise of avoiding gastronomical microagressions?  We would refuse to serve anything that caused anyone a sense of threat, tension or gas.

Let’s start with me.  I hate liver and onions.  It used to be that the simple smell of cooking liver would make me gag and want to vomit.  The first thing we would need to ban is liver.  Sticking with my family, my wife has issues that keep her from enjoying spicy food.  I cannot make chili at home because I might spill some cyan or chili powder and she would pay for it.  That rules out any food with exotic spices.

Nut allergies, shell fish allergies, soy allergies:  The list is endless.  If you have any questions about that then read the ingredient labels on just about anything you buy pre-packed.  From what I see on the warnings, about the only thing we are not allergic to are the chemical additives.  That may be because the chemical companies has big enough lobbying budgets to stay off the radar.  It might be that this new restaurant I am proposing could only offer additive soup and filler casseroles.  

A common sense solution would be to be careful and chose your table wisely.  I have not run into any misguided souls eating liver and onions in a restaurant in forty years.  When I was a young pastor I used to go to the dinner get togethers of the seniors and it seemed like the special was always liver and onions and they loved liver and onions.  I joked about it, tried to sit up wind and enjoyed the fellowship.  

The weakness in this is common sense.  People seem to be allergic to that also.

homo unius libri